epic fail, man.

there are days that i fail. miserably. (shhh… don’t tell my husband I said that out loud). i fail at being a mom, a wife, a daughter, an arbonne consultant, a business owner, a friend. i usually fail at at least one of these things every single day. on rare occasion it’s all of them. on the same day. uggghh…

truth is i’ve become okay with this. i thank my lucky stars i have what and whom i have in my life. whether it’s to bring me closer to God, or to teach me a lesson. failing is super okie dokie with me. now, don’t get me wrong. it still sucks to fail.

we have some truly amazing leaders -not some, a whole truckload of them!- in Arbonne. and many of them mention ‘failing forward’. this concept of failing forward refers to: fail, so that you can become better. fail, so that you can grow and change. it’s like falling forward, but then you catch yourself right before you hit the ground. hopefully.

i like that my kids are watching me fail and pick myself back up. sometimes it takes longer to get back up than other times, but the point is i do. and i do it quicker and quicker.. and they see this. they’re watching. they’re paying more attention than i will ever know. but i want to do my very best and work hard enough for them to see it. and if i fail, it’s okay to let them see it. i want them to know that sometimes things just don’t always pan out exactly the way we think they will. God has a mightier plan than we do. it’s more beautiful, more crazy and probably a lot harder to achieve or finish than we anticipate. but isn’t it worth it?

i think so.

Be inspired by others success, not defeated

Last night I went to a meeting in Syracuse (about an hour and twenty mins from where I live) because I needed some connection with my tribe. My people. My Arbonne family.

And I got it. Along with inspiration, which I knew I’d walk away with, but it wasn’t in the form I was thinking. As usual, God has his own plans and they are far greater than mine.

I often think how nice it would be to be a National Vice President, or a Regional VP – and be driving around Canandaigua in a white Benz with a big beautiful Arbonne sticker on the back window (that’s TOTALLY HAPPENING, btw) beep beep! – or even an Area Manager. Oh how I’d LOVE to be an Area Manager. But I didn’t want to grow to Area so badly until last night at our meeting when 8 women stood in front of the room as Area Managers and told why they were there. It was INCREDIBLY inspiring.

A year ago, this would not have been the case.

A year ago, attending one of these meetings I wanted to be inspired. I wanted not to feel envious, or defeated. I desired to be happy for these amazing people who did the work necessary to get where they are. I desired so badly to be where they were. So much so that my own desire clouded my happiness for them.

I think this is a natural human feeling. I think everyone feels envious, some more than others. I think everyone can say they’ve looked at someone that’s in a position they desire to be in and thought, ‘man, I’ll never get there,’ or ‘I’ll never have that or be that.’

Don’t beat yourself up about having these feelings. But work to move past them. You have the strength right there in your heart to choose to be truly happy for them. And here’s the hot stock tip: Fake it ’til ya make it. If you’re finding yourself being “happy” for someone else’s ‘success’, but it’s clouded by envy, or a feeling of defeat, just smile and say “Congratulations! I’m SOO happy for you.” If you do this enough, one day, you’ll really, REALLY mean it. And you’ll find yourself being inspired. Not defeated. In fact, what does that even feel like? I don’t remember!

Thank God.

I’m reading this book called ‘The Tools: 5 tools to help you find courage, creativity, and willpower – and inspire you to live life in forward motion.’ The first ‘tool’ is to face your fear. Is a “fear” you have to pray success upon others because then you’ll be helping THEM push forward past you? This is a legit “fear” for some people. I used to have this fear. It seems odd, but it’s the truth. You’re SO afraid to want success for your peers SIMPLY because you think that means you’re giving ALL the success in the world to them and they’ll be none left over for you.

The ‘tool’ is facing your fears. Leaning into them- no, that’s not right. Don’t lean… RUN. Run full sprint right toward your fear. Eventually, you’ll be able to FEEL the fear, and then go do what you need to anyway. But you have to keep running at it. And one day, that fear will be gone.

And, by the way, there’s PLENTY of success to go around. ESPECIALLY in Arbonne. I know with all my heart and all my soul and all that I am that I CAN be an Executive National Vice President right along side those 8 amazing women and the other 500+ NVP’s in this company.

So, don’t think for a single second that wishing or praying success and being happy for someone is going to steal that away from you. It will PROPEL it! Keep praying for your dreams to come true, but, while you’re at it why not just put in a little plug for someone else? Remember Karma? She’s not ALWAYS a b***h. Sometimes, she’s the sweetest most gracious thing ever. What you wish upon others is coming from YOUR HEART and it will come back to you; ten fold. Wish SUCCESS upon others, not defeat. You will obtain success instead of defeat if you do this.

All I could think this morning is how flippin’ excited I am about attending 8 Mercedes Benz car presentations in the very near future! EEEKKK!! That means dressing up, getting my hair and nails done, maybe even getting some new shoes!! 😉 Of course, this also means that 8 people have changed hundreds of lives with the gift that is Arbonne. Can’t help but feel inspired about that. ☺

A bad Arbonne day…

I’m not going to lie- that’s not really my thing, lying- I have bad Arbonne days and I question why I’m doing this.

What makes a ‘bad’ Arbonne day, you may ask? Well, a number of things: someone cancelling their party when you were actually EXCITED about the party, showing up for the party and the hostess says “Nobody is coming”, the hostess calling two hours before her party to cancel, FINALLY having the courage to call to ask people to host for you and either nobody answers or they say no after no after no, your significant other commenting on how you said you’d be an RVP by now but you’re not even close, your parents telling you to “get a real job”, someone on your team who you just KNEW would be an NVP quits (they stop doing parties and stop selling and even stop buying products), and something very common that makes a bad Arbonne day is when you haven’t had ANY activity in two weeks- you haven’t seen anyone, or talked to anyone on your team– you feel alone in your Arbonne bubble. Those are the days that make me cry.

If you’re reading this and thinking “why the hell is she doing this if it’s so bad?!” (Trust me, I hear you, and I know! Right?) Well, I will tell you why: because of my why– my children and my grandchildren. Also, because I LOVE all of it. Even the bad days. I will take a bad Arbonne day over a GREAT corporate/retail day 100% of the time! Oh, yeah, and God is moving me to do it- it’s the ONLY job I’ve ever had that I feel RIGHT doing. Even on days I don’t really FEEL like doing a party, I feel RIGHT about it. So, I know I’m on right track, here.

In the two years I’ve been with this outstanding company I’ve been trained, and I’ve been encouraged and I’ve been pushed to be BETTER. I never knew what hard work was until I started my own jewelry business, Handcrafted by Heather, and even then I struggled. It’s easy to let someone pick up slack for me. It’s one of those habits I developed at a very early age and I’m still working on it at the ripe ‘ol age of 29.

You see, the BAD DAYS are what makes me a better Arbonne consultant… not just that, even, but also a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, friend, aunt and a better Christian. I’ve never been so close to God as I am now. It’s the no’s and the crying and the ‘get a real job’s that keep pushing me. I’ve never wanted to be good at anything as much as I want to be good at Arbonne and being a mother. And here’s the catch: I’ll never be perfect at either. I’m totally okay with it.

I am ALWAYS going to do this, just like I’m ALWAYS going to be a mother and I’m ALWAYS going to be a child of God. If you’re a parent you know that’s not easy! EVER! lol… And knowing that God is our only true judge, watching, waiting, teaching, loving and laughing at our stupid mistakes isn’t a piece of cake, but it’s all worth it in the end, right? When our children smile and say ‘I love you, mommy’, when we see a miracle happen right in front of us, and when a new consultant on your team cries and hugs you and says thank you for giving me Arbonne. Makes the bad days just sort of dissipate.

Group effort

I am sitting here at my computer, as my little guy plays with his lego’s, and thinking about this trip my husband and I are about to take.

We’re going to Las Vegas, NV, for 4 days, and the kiddo’s are staying with my mother, and my dad & step-mom while we’re gone. My mom will get my daughter up to get ready for school, make her lunch and breakfast, and get her on and off the bus for 3 days. Then she’ll drive the kiddo’s to my dad and step moms so the kids can stay with them. 

My aunt and uncle are coming in from California and we will be getting in when they are a couple of days away from flying back out. We will only get to see them because my family is moving around dinner so that we can visit with them, too. We’ll be exhausted and jet lagged, but it’ll be worth it. I only get to see them every so often. Once a year at most. But it’ll all work out for the best. 

So, reflecting on this, all that my family is willing to do for me so that I can go to Las Vegas to fill my Arbonne “cup”, do some training by the pool, love on my Arbonne family, and ‘get away’ for a minute, I’m ever grateful. I realize that not everyone has family so willing to help in this way. I realize that without the efforts, love and support of my family I wouldn’t be where I am today. 

It truly does take a group effort to make this Arbonne thing work, and I think that’s really pretty wonderful. It’s brought me closer to some, and let me know who’s REALLY a supportive friend or family member. It’s opened my eyes, my heart and my mind. There are bigger possibilities now. And one day, I’ll get to SHOW a thank you to these loving people BECAUSE of my Arbonne business. It’ll all circle back around. I have faith in that. 

Until then, I will continue to rely on the GIANT hearts of my supportive family members and keep working this Arbonne thing, because I certainly cannot do it without them. ❤